News from Paddington, 2017-07-31

...By about 10am I had made the decision to throw the badminton rackets away. It's amazing how much extra stuff you become willing to let go of when your mission is to pack the contents of a large room into a suitcase that's much smaller than the room. Pure physics, really.

Before that, after a couple of failed rounds of Sokoban, I also had to say goodbye to a sleeping bag that in its rolled-up shape took up half of the suitcase. It only feels like yesterday I picked you up from Argos, I told it as I dropped it off into the clothes donation bin. Leicester won the Premier League on that day. David Cameron was Prime Minister and Hillary Clinton was making her way through the Democratic primaries. I'll miss you, old buddy.

It didn't respond. Probably trying to choke back its tears.

The cocktail shaker used to dispose of random bottles of alcohol in the fridge in a civilised way also will have to stay here. So will all the random cutlery and the massive shelf (yes, we brought a shelf here. No, I'm not taking it with me). So will the ice trays.

Remember that time I forgot to defrost the freezer and you ended up stuck inside a massive block of ice, I ask them. Isn't it ironic? Instead of having ice inside the ice trays, I ended up with ice trays inside of ice. It took me a whole weekend to get you out. Was it worth it?

As I shut the fridge door, I think I hear them say "Retribution". I open the door again and stare at them. Probably nothing.

I take one last glance around the room to make sure I disposed of all incriminating evidence. Minutes later, key handed over, I'm on a train.