News from Paddington, 2015-08-28

News from Paddington! It's News from Paddington time again!

  • A TNS census taker tried to test me today as I was walking out of London Bridge station. I ate her liver with some fava bean... I mean, responded to the survey. She asked my name in the end and wrote it down. I saw her name on the badge and realised she was from Latvia as well. We exchanged that secret Latvian stare and went our separate ways without saying a word in Latvian.
  • Some really low-tempo and really loud RnB/soul music is playing in a housemate's room. You know, the kind that you put on when you're doing something that can potentially be loud and don't want anyone else to hear it. News from Paddington will keep an eye... ear on the events as they unfold.
    UPDATE: the music has stopped and five minutes later News from Paddington heard what seemed to be two male voices, one of which said "Bye!", and then the door shutting!
    UPDATE 2: The first male voice is also talking to a female voice! News from Paddington will continue reporting on the life of this remarkable individual!
  • Vietnamese food. "We're cooking meat. You know what would go well with it? This oyster sauce! You know what else would go well with it? This sugar!"
  • Notting Hill Carnival on Sunday! What a great time to enjoy the rest of London!
  • A Jehovah's Witness came to our headquarters on a Saturday a couple of weeks ago and gave us a magazine about cells.
  • A Jehovah's Witness came to our headquarters on a Saturday a week ago and gave us a magazine about cells.
  • News from Paddington is considering buying a horse head mask for when the Jehovah's Witness comes to our headquarters next time. And a box for magazines about cells.
  • News from Paddington is going to change its headquarters in a couple of weeks! It won't be News from Paddington anymore, instead being something like News from St John's Wood or News from Poplar. Hopefully it will still be popular then.

This edition of News from Paddington was brought to you by Chilango on King William Street. We spoke to King William Chilango, founder of Chilango on King William Street and the owner and sole proprietor of King William Street, where Chilango on King William Street is located. He is also the founder of Burger King, the frontman of Crimson King, the producer of the musical Kinky Boots, the mastermind behind King's Speech, and the inventor of King-sized beds. In his spare time, he enjoys walKING, talKING and fuc.... spending time with his wife.

"Mr King William, what would you say about Chilango on King William Street, a restaurant that you opened?"
"It's really good!"

There you have it, folks! "Chilango on King William Street! It's really good!"